Skyrim has a lot of magic in it. Shouts, Alteration, Galvanization, Restoration, Approximation, Conjuration, Destruction, Illusion, and more. Most of these are designed to inflict pain, to do direct damage to an enemy. But there’s one school of magic that is used almost exclusively for creating health and preserving life. Can You Beat Skyrim With Only Restoration Spells?
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Can You Beat Skyrim With Only Restoration Spells? (in text form)
I started Skyrim, wasn’t at the 35th Annual Tamriel Wagon Gymnastics Competition, picked an Imperial as my race because they’re the only race that start with 25 in Restoration, named myself something that a certain someone in a certain mouse movie discord server refuses to say, and entered Helgen Keep. There are a few good things that happen right off the bat. First, you always start with Health, a Restoration spell. That was actually the only good thing. I very briefly let a few soldiers use my body as a sword punching bag, picked locks, ignored buckets because what kind of weird nasally freak would collect buckets, and escaped into Skyrim from within Skyrim itself.
The issue now becomes… how the hell do you deal damage to anything with a Restoration spell? In the base game, you don’t, not really. If you don’t have any of the DLCs installed this run becomes stupid difficult. The best you’d be able to do is get Restoration up to level 90 and somehow acquire the Bane of the Undead spell which sets Undead up to level 44 on fire and makes them flee for 30 seconds. But not everything you face is undead, in fact, nothing you face is even alive because this is a video game.
As luck would have it, there is a single Restoration spell in Skyrim that can damage living and unliving targets alive, without having to resort to calling them mean names. Poison Rune: an Adept level spell that does 3 points of poison damage per second for 30 seconds. If your IQ is on par with the drawing sticks in a box of crayons, you may be thinking that it doesn’t count because it’s Poison damage, to which I say: I’m not worried. The game calls it a Restoration spell, so it’s a Restoration spell. As I haven’t played Elmo’s Number Journey yet, the problems are seemingly infinite. The most important one in the only time zone that matters is that it requires Restoration at 50 to be able to do that.
In the last few explanatory paragraphs, I’ve likely activated the Mage stone to make Magic skills level up quicker, discovered Bleak Falls Barrow, and begun taking punishment from Bandits. I did that for a while but it’s too slow. Like the great Billy Mays once said, there’s gonna be a better way. And there is. Tucked away in desolation lies a location you’ve probably never heard of. Once I say the name, even the most fanatical Skyrim fans will be asking themselves “what place is he talking about?”. High Hrothgar. That’s what us liars refer to as a joke. I couldn’t take the front door into the temple, the old men have locked themselves away while they examine each other’s backs for moles and count wrinkles. Getting over the temple and into the courtyard is as simple as bending your ankles until you hear something snap and running up the mountain with your feet that are effectively pool noodles wearing boots.
2019 24 دسامبر